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The Lost Beats by ~Poetically-Yours:iconPoetically-Yours:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Teen or Young Romance > Fixed


The Lost Beats

My broken heart will forever beat,
One less time for you.
In remembrance of the love I had,
And all the things you do.

The pace is flawed beyond repair,
The rhythm is off track,
Till the time you call my name,
From behind my lonesome back.

But till that fateful day occurs,
I will in essence be,
In debt to my so sluggish heart,
Beats only you set free.
©2006-2009 ~Poetically-Yours
Details
Submitted: July 20, 2006
File Size: 561 bytes
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Comments: 18
Favourites & Collections: 2 [who?]

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Author's Comments

Wow, so this is the first piece of poetry written in Muskoka Ontario (not that this area is of any inspiration). I have someone very special to blame for this spurt of creativity....and I'm forever grateful for the inspiration he's given me.
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Comments


~barkerman47:iconbarkerman47: Jul 20, 2006, 6:46:17 PM
Nice, kind of well... depressing, but nice. (Insert normal question here), hope it's not.
~Felix-Forever:iconFelix-Forever: Jul 20, 2006, 7:12:54 PM
Wow, another amazing piece of work, Amy.

I don't find the rhythm off, btw.

--
Felix Alexander
~ChAzZeH:iconChAzZeH: Jul 20, 2006, 8:12:47 PM
yeah i dont find the rhythm off either, i think its written really well, emotional piece. good work.

--
-ChaZ-

::I hate the presence of people, which I do not tolerate::
~Poetically-Yours:iconPoetically-Yours: Jul 20, 2006, 8:41:32 PM
Well it was meant to be a "happy to be in love, but sad to be apart" piece.
~Poetically-Yours:iconPoetically-Yours: Jul 20, 2006, 8:42:46 PM
I'm really glad you liked it. I think I'm just a little over-critical of myself since it's been such a long time since I've written anything.
~Poetically-Yours:iconPoetically-Yours: Jul 20, 2006, 8:43:50 PM
Awww Felix, that's really sweet. It's good to know I still have some poetic ability...it's been sooooo long since I've written anything...I think I was kinda afraid I was going rusty!
~Felix-Forever:iconFelix-Forever: Jul 20, 2006, 8:52:49 PM
Hah, never!

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Felix Alexander
~TrueBard:iconTrueBard: Jul 20, 2006, 8:57:13 PM
:D <--This is me smiling all happy and such. This has seriously made my day, and I had a pretty good one, so that is saying something. I agree with the rest of the fellows here, the rhythm is not off, in fact, I think it is pretty much perfect. It is a very enjoyable piece. Talk to you soon. :cuddle:
~ChAzZeH:iconChAzZeH: Jul 20, 2006, 9:38:11 PM
hehe always be critical of your own work, that way u strive to make it your best.

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-ChaZ-

::I hate the presence of people, which I do not tolerate::
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